"DADDY!!!!" I cried out to God as I crumpled to the floor two days ago. I was face to face with the stark realization that I was totally alone in my endeavor for God regarding the trip to India. I was also fearful God would not provide the airline ticket. Never mind that He has provided everything I've needed thus far: the passport, the visa, the luggage, the medication, even a new digital camera. What makes the airline ticket any different?
I'd always had trouble relating to God as my Father. I was nine years old when my dad died and I never allowed anyone to take his place, not even God. Especially not God. As a child, I felt like my dad never failed me, but God had. I had a strong and loving relationship with my earthly father. He provided me with everything I needed. Sometimes he spoiled me by giving me things solely for my pleasure and enjoyment. After his death, my basic needs, such as food and warm clothing, were often unmet. As a child, I would manipulate people, whine and pitch fits, all in an attempt to get my needs met. I developed a false mindset which carried over into adulthood and my relationship with Him: God was not enough.
When I hear the word "Father" I think of Romans 8:15 "...but ye have received the spirit of adoption whereby we cry Abba Father." While the word "Father" commands respect and reverence, the word "Abba" means "Daddy" indicating a more intimate affectionate relationship. As I crumpled to the floor, fighting against fear and loneliness, while grasping hold of truth and crying out to my Heavenly Daddy, the false mindset of God not being enough was broken. In the midst of the pressure, I couldn't deny the touch of God commissioning me, compelling me to go to India. I had to keep moving in the direction of His Spirit regardless of what was happening around me. He WILL provide everything I need because the truth is MY GOD IS MORE THAN ENOUGH!
I'd always had trouble relating to God as my Father. I was nine years old when my dad died and I never allowed anyone to take his place, not even God. Especially not God. As a child, I felt like my dad never failed me, but God had. I had a strong and loving relationship with my earthly father. He provided me with everything I needed. Sometimes he spoiled me by giving me things solely for my pleasure and enjoyment. After his death, my basic needs, such as food and warm clothing, were often unmet. As a child, I would manipulate people, whine and pitch fits, all in an attempt to get my needs met. I developed a false mindset which carried over into adulthood and my relationship with Him: God was not enough.
When I hear the word "Father" I think of Romans 8:15 "...but ye have received the spirit of adoption whereby we cry Abba Father." While the word "Father" commands respect and reverence, the word "Abba" means "Daddy" indicating a more intimate affectionate relationship. As I crumpled to the floor, fighting against fear and loneliness, while grasping hold of truth and crying out to my Heavenly Daddy, the false mindset of God not being enough was broken. In the midst of the pressure, I couldn't deny the touch of God commissioning me, compelling me to go to India. I had to keep moving in the direction of His Spirit regardless of what was happening around me. He WILL provide everything I need because the truth is MY GOD IS MORE THAN ENOUGH!
He is soooo committed to you- and you're so right, He hasn't worked out all this so far to leave you here :) feel Him so near!
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