Friday, January 27, 2012

Letting Go

Letting go and moving on is not always easy.  Changing camp sites may be an adventurous way to live, but it takes courage.

My apartment lease is up next month and I am moving in with a friend.  This arrangement allows me flexibility when the time comes to depart for India.  Plus it will give me a place to come home to at the conclusion of my assignment in India.  I had to make a difficult decision of what to do with my belongings.  Do I put everything in storage until I return from India?  Or do I sell everything except my basic items?  After doing some price-checking, I calculated the cost of storing my furniture was more than the furniture was worth, so I decided to sell everything.

It was not an easy decision to make.  I don't have a lot of material possessions, but when I moved into my apartment two years ago, I purchased nice but inexpensive living room furniture.  I decorated the room with red accented pillows, rug, lamps and pictures.  I gathered books and resources on prayer.  My Bible, journal and pen were nearby.  I hung up a world map so I could visually pray for missionaries and other countries.  My goal - which I achieved by the way - was to create an atmosphere in my living room that was conducive to prayer.

As I sit in this beautiful living room writing this blog, precious memories of time alone with God flood my mind.  It was in this beautiful relaxing atmosphere I learned to pray, REALLY pray.  In this room, numerous spiritual battles were fought and won, first in my own mind, then in the lives of others.  In this room, souls were birthed into God's kingdom and healings were wrought.  In this room, I felt His arms of love around me giving me strength during times of loneliness.  In this room, I learned to recognize His Voice and to follow Him.  It was in this beautiful room I received God's call to India.

I realize I can take the Presence of God with me no matter where I live.  Just like in the Old Testament, whenever the children of Israel moved, they took the Tabernacle, which housed the Presence of God, with them.  When the cloud or pillar of fire moved in the camp, they simply packed up the Tabernacle, followed God's leading to the next camp, and there they once again erected the Tabernacle of God's Presence.

For a little while there, I was having a hard time letting go of the "stuff" I had used to create an atmosphere of God's Presence.  I am blessed with material goods but it will become a curse if I try to hang on to it.  I do not need "things" to evoke His Presence.  All I need is His Word and His Spirit, two things I readily possess at all times because both reside within me.  What does material things matter in the kingdom of God?  What is the purpose of possessions when the majority of the world does not have food?  In some parts of the world, ONE spoon is considered a luxury.

Now that the time has come to move, I am ready to let it all go. As I prepare to leave this camp, so to speak, and settle into the next camp and the wonderful plans God has for my life, there is less "stuff" to transport.   Ahhh...the adventurous life of living for God!

Saturday, January 21, 2012

This is My Life

"This is my life.  This is what I have been called to do.  This is where I belong," I thought as I sat among other missionaries at the Because of the Times conference last week.  It felt like the last piece of a puzzle being put into place.

A funny thing happened at the conference which so aptly describes my life.  The first night I arrived early, but it was to no avail as all the seats were taken.  Separated from my friends, I sat on the back row of a 3,000 seat auditorum with people I did not know.  I couldn't see a thing!  The next day I learned that our name tags were color-coded meaning I was supposed to be sitting near the front with all the other missionaries.  I felt both stupid and relieved.

This experience so aptly describes my life because for so long I have felt out of place in the back row of life, separated from my friends, unable to see anything.  With the call to India, God made room for me, up front with a clear view, among my spiritual heros: missionaries.

This is my life...and I LOVE it!

Rebekka (Norway), Cynthia (India), Rachel (Latvia)
Cyndy (Jordan) and Cynthia (India)

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Over the Hill

Today is my birthday.  The REAL one, not the spiritual one.  Today I am 50 years old. The BIG 5-0.  It is a milestone often celebrated with gloomy black candles, black napkins, black plates, black cups, black balloons, black drinks and black cake...you get the picture. Some 50th birthday parties even have caskets as part of the decor. Now THAT is gloomy!!

There's an old saying for those turning 50, "You're over the hill.  It's all downhill from here."  If it is downhill from here, I intend to hang on and enjoy the ride with life and laughter.  Lord knows I've had plenty of gloomy days the first half century of my life.  I've experienced trauma and seen more than my share of real-life caskets at real funerals during the first 20 years of my life.  I spent the next 30 years healing from the traumas and losses.  "He sent his word and healed them from their destructions."  Psalms 107:20.  Today I am healed and whole, ready to embrace life and celebrate.

There is a young man at church named George who has a very positive outlook on life.  His outlook is not determined by his status in life, which is considered minimal by some standards.  His outlook is determined by the joy of the Lord.  George truly believes each day he lives is the best day of his life and that tomorrow will be even better.  Whenever I'm having a good day, I smile and call it a "George Day."

I believe the second half century of my life will be filled with George Days, not gloomy days.  HANG ON!  The ride is on!! LOL!

Sunday, January 1, 2012

One Resolution: 2012

It's a new day and a new year.  It's a time when people relect upon the past and make resolutions toward change for the future.  Some people may resolve to lose weight or exercise more while others pursue a new hobby or skill.  Some resolve to be a better spouse or parent while others seek to be a better employee.
It is a good thing to make resolutions and set goals because if we aim for nothing we will accomplish nothing.  I'm a firm believer in setting goals and making lists.  I have a list for almost everything including groceries to buy, books to read and goals to pursue.  (The older I get the more I depend upon the lists to stay focused.)

For 2012, I have decided to make one resolution: to know God in ways I have not known Him before.  Recently, in prayer, the Lord told me, "You don't know Me.  You know My Voice and that is good, but you don't know Me.  Come, draw closer to Me.  Let Me love you."

In order to achieve this one goal of knowing Him, it could mean not pursuing other goals, as good and meaningful they may be.  It could mean not scratching any items off my "To-Do" list.  That is okay.  As long as I achieve my one one aim and goal, not only for 2012, but for all eternity: to know Him.

"That I may know him, and the power of his resurrection, and the fellowship of his sufferings, being made conformable unto his death....I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus."  Philippians 3:10, 14