Spiritual Birthday

Today is my spiritual birthday…28 years.  Let me tell you about it.  It was a Monday afternoon in 1983 in Montgomery, Alabama.  I was 21 years old and a backslider.  I had recently started attending a Pentecostal church and on this particular day, I was helping out in their daycare.  The night before, the pastor had preached about the second coming of Jesus.  Afterwards, I stayed awake all night long from fear and conviction, knowing I would not be saved if the Lord Jesus indeed did return.  All day on Monday, I was feeling out of sorts and finally at 3:00 pm in the afternoon I began to shake and cry under the continual conviction.  My pastor’s wife inquired what was wrong.  I told her about my fears of not being saved.  She and I went into the sanctuary area and there on the front pew, I began to repent and ask God to forgive me.  He then filled me with the Holy Ghost with evidence of speaking in other tongues just like they did in the book of Acts.

I had been filled with the Holy Ghost once before when I was 15 years old.  When I received the Holy Ghost the first time, it was during a church service where the music was playing loudly and the people were worshipping God exuberantly.  I doubted my experience, contributing it to the emotional hype of the service.  This second experience solidified me.  There was no music; no one was present but my pastor’s wife, me and God.  This time I knew it was God and not an emotional hype.

A few weeks later, I was baptized in water in Jesus’ Name.  I was one of the last people to be baptized in the horse trough the church used temporarily until they built their own baptistry.  Water baptism completed my salvation experience according to Acts 2:38, Then Peter said unto them, Repent, and be baptized every one of you in the name of Jesus Christ for the remission of sins, and ye shall receive the gift of the Holy Ghost.  My salvation was not obtained by anything that I had done.  I was merely obedient to the work Jesus Christ performed through His death, burial and resurrection (I Corinthians 15:3-4).

After my initial salvation experience, I continued to grow spiritually through faith and obedience to His Word.  Looking back over the last 28 years, I am so AMAZED at God’s mercy and grace in my life.  Early in my walk with Him, God gave me many dreams and visions, yet there were times when I doubted they could ever be reality because I was such a mess.  Today, I am actually living many of those dreams and visions.  And yes, in some ways, I am still a mess.  I am so thankful for His mercy and grace as I look expectantly ahead to living out the remaining dreams and visions. God is so good!

Radical

Every once in a while we read a book that causes us to radically change our perspectives on a particular subject.  The book, “Radical” by David Platt did exactly that for me.  The author compares the American Dream to the Great Commission as found in Mark 16:15, “Go ye into all the world and preach the gospel to every creature.”  So many Americans hide behind their comfortable lifestyles and say, “Well, I’m not called to missions.”  It’s true, we are not called.  We are commanded.  It is clearly the will of God for us to take the gospel to the nations.

No, we cannot all physically go to another nation to take the gospel to the lost billions of people.  But, can we go to our neighborhoods?  The sad reality is that most of us are not going, not to another nation nor to another neighborhood, but rather we are sitting idle in our American churches enjoying our salvation.

The book challenges its readers to review their lifestyles, finances, talents and resources to see how these can be used to take the gospel to the untold billions of unsaved people.  The author gives us practical examples to help guide us in fulfilling the challenge.  He gives us inspiring stories of others who have radically changed their American lifestyles to ensure the gospel is preached into the entire world.  He gives us courageous stories of people in other countries who live radical lives by simply being a Christian.

I was deeply moved as I read stories of men and women who risked everything, including their lives, for the gospel in other countries.  I read stories of people who gathered together secretly in a small, dimly lit room for over eight hours of praying, studying the Word and worshipping God in a country where it is illegal to do so.  It burdened my heart to read about entire nations and/or people groups where there are no churches.  No Christians.  No missionaries.  No gospel.  No Jesus.  NO JESUS?!  Is this not a cause worth living for?  Is this not a cause worth dying for?  Lord, here am I.  Send me.

Rest

Absolutely nothing is happening on the home front.  I’ve raised very little money of the necessary budget.   The car has not sold and I’m still stuck in an apartment lease, among other things.  You know, I’m not stressed at all about it.  It will all happen according to God’s timing and plan.  Last time, I had several emotional meltdowns as I stressed over the preparations and finances.  I laugh now because the last time it was a 3 week trip and cost $3,000.  I am now facing a 6-8 month trip that costs $13,000.  Is it the impossibility of the task that gives me peace?  Is it my knowing only God and God alone can do this?

Three weeks ago, I wrote down on a piece of paper everything that needed to happen prior to my leaving for India.  I then placed the paper on the altar at church and left it there, literally.  I vowed not to pray another prayer over those needs.  I promised God I would praise Him and trust Him to supply the needs…all of them.  It was not resignation, not an attitude of “Well, there’s nothing I can do about it anyway.”  It was a deliberate and complete act of placing my trust in Him and His timing.

There is a powerful principle in the Bible that few of His people practice.  It is the principle of Rest.  Rest is not the same as relaxation.  Resting in Him involves prayer and the Word.  It involves praise, worship and adoration of Him.  Rest = Lean.

The people rested (leaned) upon Hezekiah’s words that the Lord would fight their battles.  2 Chronicles 32:8

Who is this that cometh up from the wilderness leaning (resting) upon her beloved?  Song of Solomon 8:5

Man feels the need to be doing, but the Battle has already been won by Jesus Christ.  He conquered, overcame all the enemies, including death, hell and the grave.  Do we really believe it?  Hebrews chapter 4 says we must labor to enter into that rest lest we fall into unbelief.  Many times we view scriptures in the Bible as being futuristic only.  Hebrews chapter 4 refers to the Heavenly Rest we will receive once we pass from this earth.  However, it is for us today because this chapter deals with the rest we have in the Holy Ghost.  We must learn to cease from works and rest in Him. 

Satan’s goal according to Daniel 7:25 is to wear out the saints of the most High.  He wants us to exhaust ourselves by constantly doing something.  We easily get caught up in what’s going on around us…we get pressed, oppressed, weary, tired, etc.  Sometimes we are busy with the work of God, exhausting ourselves and justifying our actions because it is for His cause.  Either way, we become restless.  Restlessness (unrest) is an end time spirit to wear us out, so that physically and mentally we won't be able to function to carry out our Lord's plan.

God’s goal is for His people to rest in Him, thereby enabling Him to be glorified and advancing His Kingdom.  The true dying out to self and for the cause is to lay aside our flesh for a time of rest.  Rest is not being lazy or unproductive.  Resting in Him is a deliberate act of placing our trust and confidence in Him.  Let us be diligent to labor to enter that rest. 

As I endeavor to apply the principle of rest to my life, I asked God to show me how powerful this principle really is.  I have not made any other attempts at fundraising since I sent out the letters to my friends.  Those who know me well know this is highly unusual for me.  By now, I would have exhausted every resource known to mankind in fundraising attempts.  Not this time.  This time I choose to rest and watch God work it out, so that He may be glorified.

Recently, God gave me a small glimpse of what He can do when I rest in Him.  I received an invitation to speak at a large missions-minded church in Louisiana.  I was completely shocked because even though my friend goes there, in all of my visits to Louisiana it never worked out for me to attend church with her.  So it was definitely a “God-thing” to receive the invitation.  I am in AWE of my God!

AIM Application Approved

I called today to check on my AIM application.  It's been approved for me to go to India, Nepal and Bangladesh.  It's just a matter of the ministers actually signing off on the application, then they will send me the packet of information.  WOW!!!  The lady I spoke to told me that I can choose to visit all 3 countries or just visit one.  She told me Bro. & Sis. Corbin were very excited about my possibly coming to Bangladesh.  That being said, I plan to go to India and Bangladesh but not Nepal.  Lord willing, I will spend 4 months in New Delhi and 2-4 weeks in Varanasi, both located in India.  Then, since I will have to leave the country of India at that point, I will spend time with the Corbins in Bangladesh.  I have not received a time frame for Bangladesh yet...it will be included in my packet.

The next step is fundraising.  As soon as I raise the necessary funds, I am free to go.  My desire is to go in November 2011, but I am willing to wait on His perfect timing.

WOW!!  This is really happening!!!  :-))

Another Step of Faith

Today I took another step of faith in the journey. I mailed my application for the Associates in Missions (AIM) program. AIM is a short-term missions program through the United Pentecostal Church International in which a person can go to a foreign nation and assist a missionary in a variety of ways for 2-12 months. I applied to return to New Delhi, India in November 2011 to assist with Scism Christian University for 4-6 months.

November is five months away. Once the application is approved, which can take up to 2-3 months, there are several things that need to be accomplished prior to leaving. I need to apply for a new visa, be debt-free, have my airline ticket in hand (I'm still paying on the last one), have half of my living expenses up front with the other half committed through pledges, etc. All of my human logic and reasoning says this cannot be accomplished in five months, but with God all things are possible. November 2012 would be a more realistic schedule. I did not want to put any limitations on God, so if it all comes together in five months, so be it. If not, and I have to wait another year, I am okay with it. I will leave the timing up to Him.  I truly feel at peace about this decision. 

Looking at the bright side, my passport is still good and I don't have to get a zillion shots!!

Blessings

Blessings...what do we think of when we hear this word?  Nice house, family, friends, clothes, food, a job, a car, good health?  What about sickness, pain, rejection, loss of job, or death?  Do these words invoke thoughts of blessings in our minds?  If not, they should.  All of these -- nice house, sickness, etc. -- are blessings from God, whether or not we realize it or can truly appreciate it.

Whenever we experience heartache, pain, or sickness, our first and strongest reaction to God is usually a cry for deliverance.  We want out of this trial/test/storm and we want out NOW!!  Yesterday would have been really good!  Have you ever noticed that it's during the dark times that God reveals Himself to us in ways we wouldn't have otherwise experienced?  He reveals His Mercy, His Grace, and His Love to us in greater measure during these times.  It's because we are more dependent upon Him during the times of storms unlike other times, whether or not we acknowledge that dependency.

For the past ten days, I have endured excruciating pain from a kidney stone.  (I realize there are people who have endured far greater physical pain for a longer period of time than I have.  My pain doesn't even minutely compare to theirs.)  But this is my trial and my blog, so allow me to share some of the things I've learned about God during this time. 

Last Saturday morning, after taking a strong pain killer at 3:00 AM that put me into a deep sleep, I awoke to the sweet overwhelming Presence of the Lord at 5:30 AM.  I loved it that He woke me up to commune with Him.  You see, 5:30 AM is our usual prayer time.  It was also a powerful reminder that there is no place His Presence is not there, not even a drug-induced sleep.  Psalm 139:7-11: "7 Whither shall I go from thy spirit? or whither shall I flee from thy presence? 8 If I ascend up into heaven, thou art there: if I make my bed in hell, behold, thou art there. 9 If I take the wings of the morning, and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea; 10 Even there shall thy hand lead me, and thy right hand shall hold me. 11 If I say, Surely the darkness shall cover me; even the night shall be light about me."

Two days ago, while driving, the pain hit me violently and unexpectedly.  It was the worst wave of excruciating pain thus far and I did not have access to my medication.  I began to fervently pray and cry out to God for relief.  Immediately His Presence filled the car and I felt His Love surround me unlike any other time I have ever felt Him.  Did the pain cease?  No.  But, in that moment, I knew I could endure anything in life as long as His Presence was with me.  Hebrews 13:5 says, "Let your conversation be without covetousness; and be content with such things as ye have : for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee."

This song by Laura Story entitled "Blessings" gives us a different perspective on the word.  May you be blessed as you listen.

Note:  After an unplanned surgery and an overnight hospital stay, the kidney stone was removed and I feel great!  This little test was just another part of the process to prepare me for my return to India.  Yes, you read it right, I am returning to India. :-)

Maintaining His Presence

Since I'm stuck at home with painful kidney stones, I've been able to do some long overdue reading.  I just finished a book entitled, "I Dared to Call Him Father" by Bilquis Sheikh.  Written in 1978, it's a true story of a high-society Pakistani Muslim woman's encounter with God.  It was a rather interesting read that kept me turning the pages, anxious to know the final outcome.

Becoming a Christian in a resolutely fundamental Muslim country can make life very precarious to say the least. The ostracising from family and talk in the village of “something having to be done” about this woman who had become an “infidel” were not easy to bear. God protected her from danger on many occasions.

The most profound part of the book for me was her simple approach in living for God.  She based all of her thoughts, decisions and actions upon the continuance of His Presence.  As long as she felt His Presence, she had peace and comfort.  Whenever she began to either fear or put her trust in the ‘arm of the flesh’, His Presence departed. If she repented of these things and simply trusted and obeyed God's guidance, she sensed His presence and protection once again. Once, when she was concerned about not seeing the results of her witnessing, the Lord told her, "The results are not your problem.  All you have to worry about is obedience.  Seek My Presence, not results."  Maintaining the knowledge and sense of His presence was everything to her. 

Lord, may I always be aware of Your Presence.  Help me to quickly seek Your Presence whenever I sense Your departure.  I want to live in Your Presence every moment of every day of my life.  Amen.