I am sitting here quietly at home on the last night of 2012 reviewing the events and happenings of the past year. I made one simple resolution at the beginning of 2012: to know God in a way I've never known Him before. Was this resolution fulfilled? Yes, but it happened in a way I could never have imagined.
At the beginning of the year, I decided to learn Hindi. This was a HUGE goal and undertaking for two reasons. One, I wasn't sure if it would be possible for me to learn with my hearing loss. Two, I wasn't sure if my old brain was wired to learn another language. I prayed and asked God to help me find a good teacher. I knew this person would need to be kind, patient and willing to accept the challenge of teaching a nearly-deaf person. Where to find such a person?!
I met Santosh at a Teacher Workshop on India where she taught a class on the Hindi language. Afterwards, we talked about my desire to learn the language. She was kind, patient and she accepted the challenge of teaching me Hindi. I quickly discovered that my old brain was indeed wired to learn another language and it motivated me. However, I was still unsure if I could learn to speak and audibly understand Hindi. Santosh taught me to read and write the language first, then to speak and listen to it. It was a harder, time-consuming method but a successful one in the end.
In the process, Santosh and I developed a genuine friendship. What I hadn't counted on was God to demonstrate His love to me through Santosh during our weekly sessions. She taught me much more than the Hindi language. She also taught me the culture and ways of India, causing me to fall in love with her homeland and her people once again, on a deeper level.
One day, as I was praying and weeping, I felt the Presence of God so strong. He spoke tenderly to me, "You asked to feel My love. I gave you My love for India. You were moved with compassion for the people of India. Then, I sent you Santosh. You felt My love for her. All of this is good. Now, I want you to feel My love for you." I felt so broken by His gentle words and His love for me.
Love and brokenness is the entrance to the supernatural. It was not the entrance I expected. I had imagined the entrance to be a bold one surrounded by spiritual warfare. Not this quiet breaking of me.
As I ponder goals and resolutions for 2013, I will make the same resolution as 2012: to know God in a way I've never known Him before. In fact, I choose to make knowing God a lifelong passion and goal, not just a yearly resolution. It will be interesting to see how He fulfills it in my lifetime.
At the beginning of the year, I decided to learn Hindi. This was a HUGE goal and undertaking for two reasons. One, I wasn't sure if it would be possible for me to learn with my hearing loss. Two, I wasn't sure if my old brain was wired to learn another language. I prayed and asked God to help me find a good teacher. I knew this person would need to be kind, patient and willing to accept the challenge of teaching a nearly-deaf person. Where to find such a person?!
I met Santosh at a Teacher Workshop on India where she taught a class on the Hindi language. Afterwards, we talked about my desire to learn the language. She was kind, patient and she accepted the challenge of teaching me Hindi. I quickly discovered that my old brain was indeed wired to learn another language and it motivated me. However, I was still unsure if I could learn to speak and audibly understand Hindi. Santosh taught me to read and write the language first, then to speak and listen to it. It was a harder, time-consuming method but a successful one in the end.
In the process, Santosh and I developed a genuine friendship. What I hadn't counted on was God to demonstrate His love to me through Santosh during our weekly sessions. She taught me much more than the Hindi language. She also taught me the culture and ways of India, causing me to fall in love with her homeland and her people once again, on a deeper level.
One day, as I was praying and weeping, I felt the Presence of God so strong. He spoke tenderly to me, "You asked to feel My love. I gave you My love for India. You were moved with compassion for the people of India. Then, I sent you Santosh. You felt My love for her. All of this is good. Now, I want you to feel My love for you." I felt so broken by His gentle words and His love for me.
Love and brokenness is the entrance to the supernatural. It was not the entrance I expected. I had imagined the entrance to be a bold one surrounded by spiritual warfare. Not this quiet breaking of me.
As I ponder goals and resolutions for 2013, I will make the same resolution as 2012: to know God in a way I've never known Him before. In fact, I choose to make knowing God a lifelong passion and goal, not just a yearly resolution. It will be interesting to see how He fulfills it in my lifetime.
