Because of the Times

OH MY!!!  I am BURSTING with EXCITEMENT!!!  As part of the Associates in Missions (AIM) program, I get to attend Because of the Times Conference in January 2012!!  It is absolutely one of the best conferences around, held annually in Alexandria, Louisiana.  However, due to space limitations, registration is limited to ministers and missionaries.  I remember praying last year, "Lord, I wish there was some way I could attend this conference someday."  I figured my only chance was to marry a minister...a VERY slim chance indeed! LOL. Now, a year later, God has answered my prayer in His own unique way. I am so amazed and EXCITED!!

Registering for this conference sparked a sobering reality inside of me.  You see, I viewed myself and my role as an AIMER with a "low man on the totem pole" mentality.  I kept saying, "I'm not a missionary.  I'm just an assistant to missionaries."  Howbeit, my role is a powerful one as I assist missionaries and together we reach souls for the Kingdom of God.  It is a God-ordained responsibility that must be taken seriously.

"Lord, help me to walk worthy of Your calling. Let me not minimize the role You have designed me to fulfill. May my spirit and attitude be one of humility, submission and obedience to Your perfect will so that You may receive all the glory and honor. Amen."

I am thankful for the opportunity to attend this conference, where assistants are recognized as a vital part of the global mission experience.  Thank you, Jesus!

Arunachal Pradesh

Sanga Ralte was a renown sports man in Indian cricket and football (soccer) before God called him into the ministry. Although he no longer plays sports, the sports organizations still call him to speak at ceremony openings.

Currently, Sanga pastors a church of about 54 members in the Diyun village in the state of Arunachal Pradesh in northeast India, an area that shares international borders with China, Bhutan and Burma. The growing congregation meet in a small room because their church building was damaged in a storm in 2009. They plan to start construction on a building in 2012. Various religions are practiced throughout the state. Diyun village is dominated by Buddhist religion.

One of Sanga's dreams is to open an orphanage home. He is looking for land and he is conferring with a lady in another area who has four small schools and an orphanage. Lack of a building does not hinder Sanga from ministering to youth as he is often involved in various youth events.

He says he has a burden for children, youth and orphans. Actually, I believe Sanga has a burden for ALL people. He tells me about the Chakma Tribe, refugees who migrated from Bangladesh, in Diyun village. The state government is bias and discriminatory towards these people. They are often denied basic rights such as education, employment and the right to live peacefully. Sanga cares about them and their plight, and seeks ways to minister the love of God to them.

Sanga travels to other districts throughout his state, taking the gospel of Jesus Christ to various peoples in small tribal villages. Most of the journeys take 2-3 days of travel, the majority of it by foot in mountainous terrain, to reach their destination. There are very few Christians, mainly indigenous people, in the hilly areas and there are no churches. On one such journey to Sissen Village, Sanga and other ministers were able to obtain a plot of land to build a church. Now they are looking for a sponsor for the church building.

It's been 13 years since Sanga Ralte left the sports world to become involved in the ministry. He loves God, he loves people, and he loves the ministry. In his own words, Sanga says, "I hope that until my last breath I will be in the ministry."

The Ultimate Debt Eraser

One of my goals for the next 10 months until I leave for India is to pay off all of my personal debt.  It is a Biblical goal, one that God desires each of us to experience, in our finances as well as our spiritual lives.  I want to be available to the kingdom of God without being tied down by finances.  I want my finances to be spent on reaching the lost souls of the world, not on material things. 

I bought an inexpensive used car yesterday.  I didn't mind riding the bus but now that my trip to India has been postponed until Fall 2012, I need a car to get around.  I bought this 1996 Lexus ES300 from a sweet lady who has truly babied this car.  I love it.  It's the perfect car for me right now.  (Well, the CD player's location in the trunk does takes some getting used to.) 

Next week, I will start working a part-time job in addition to my full-time job.  When my apartment lease is up, I plan to move in with a friend which will save even more money.  As I put forth the effort to reach the goal of being debt-free, God will help me.  How do I know?  He's done it before.  In 2006, I had numerous, very high medical expenses.  It would have taken me a lifetime to pay them all off.  One day, as I called about some hospital bills, the lady in the accounting department told me, "Don't send us any more payments.  We will write off all of your bills.  As of today, you do not owe us any more money."  After the initial shock wore off, I realized what God had just done.  He had just totally erased five medical bills totaling over $23,000!!

God erases debt in more ways than one.  He erased the debt of humanity's sin at Calvary.  We could never pay the debt of sin we owed, not even after an entire lifetime.  I am so glad God erased my debt of sin as well as my debt of medical expenses.  He is the Ultimate Debt Eraser!

Decision Made

Thanks everyone for the prayers. I was unable to get out of my apartment lease which ends February 2012.  I cannot justify paying the exorbiant fees while in the process of becoming debt-free.  Therefore, my trip to India is postponed until Fall 2012.

I choose to be content with His Will and Timing. Please pray for me as my heart is torn.  My burden is for India but I am in the United States.  Pray that I will be focused and useful in the field I am currently living while I prepare and wait for the field I am called to.

For the vision is yet for an appointed time, but at the end it shall speak, and not lie: though it tarry, wait for it, because it will surely come, it will not tarry.  Habakkuk 2:3

Spiritual Birthday

Today is my spiritual birthday…28 years.  Let me tell you about it.  It was a Monday afternoon in 1983 in Montgomery, Alabama.  I was 21 years old and a backslider.  I had recently started attending a Pentecostal church and on this particular day, I was helping out in their daycare.  The night before, the pastor had preached about the second coming of Jesus.  Afterwards, I stayed awake all night long from fear and conviction, knowing I would not be saved if the Lord Jesus indeed did return.  All day on Monday, I was feeling out of sorts and finally at 3:00 pm in the afternoon I began to shake and cry under the continual conviction.  My pastor’s wife inquired what was wrong.  I told her about my fears of not being saved.  She and I went into the sanctuary area and there on the front pew, I began to repent and ask God to forgive me.  He then filled me with the Holy Ghost with evidence of speaking in other tongues just like they did in the book of Acts.

I had been filled with the Holy Ghost once before when I was 15 years old.  When I received the Holy Ghost the first time, it was during a church service where the music was playing loudly and the people were worshipping God exuberantly.  I doubted my experience, contributing it to the emotional hype of the service.  This second experience solidified me.  There was no music; no one was present but my pastor’s wife, me and God.  This time I knew it was God and not an emotional hype.

A few weeks later, I was baptized in water in Jesus’ Name.  I was one of the last people to be baptized in the horse trough the church used temporarily until they built their own baptistry.  Water baptism completed my salvation experience according to Acts 2:38, Then Peter said unto them, Repent, and be baptized every one of you in the name of Jesus Christ for the remission of sins, and ye shall receive the gift of the Holy Ghost.  My salvation was not obtained by anything that I had done.  I was merely obedient to the work Jesus Christ performed through His death, burial and resurrection (I Corinthians 15:3-4).

After my initial salvation experience, I continued to grow spiritually through faith and obedience to His Word.  Looking back over the last 28 years, I am so AMAZED at God’s mercy and grace in my life.  Early in my walk with Him, God gave me many dreams and visions, yet there were times when I doubted they could ever be reality because I was such a mess.  Today, I am actually living many of those dreams and visions.  And yes, in some ways, I am still a mess.  I am so thankful for His mercy and grace as I look expectantly ahead to living out the remaining dreams and visions. God is so good!

Radical

Every once in a while we read a book that causes us to radically change our perspectives on a particular subject.  The book, “Radical” by David Platt did exactly that for me.  The author compares the American Dream to the Great Commission as found in Mark 16:15, “Go ye into all the world and preach the gospel to every creature.”  So many Americans hide behind their comfortable lifestyles and say, “Well, I’m not called to missions.”  It’s true, we are not called.  We are commanded.  It is clearly the will of God for us to take the gospel to the nations.

No, we cannot all physically go to another nation to take the gospel to the lost billions of people.  But, can we go to our neighborhoods?  The sad reality is that most of us are not going, not to another nation nor to another neighborhood, but rather we are sitting idle in our American churches enjoying our salvation.

The book challenges its readers to review their lifestyles, finances, talents and resources to see how these can be used to take the gospel to the untold billions of unsaved people.  The author gives us practical examples to help guide us in fulfilling the challenge.  He gives us inspiring stories of others who have radically changed their American lifestyles to ensure the gospel is preached into the entire world.  He gives us courageous stories of people in other countries who live radical lives by simply being a Christian.

I was deeply moved as I read stories of men and women who risked everything, including their lives, for the gospel in other countries.  I read stories of people who gathered together secretly in a small, dimly lit room for over eight hours of praying, studying the Word and worshipping God in a country where it is illegal to do so.  It burdened my heart to read about entire nations and/or people groups where there are no churches.  No Christians.  No missionaries.  No gospel.  No Jesus.  NO JESUS?!  Is this not a cause worth living for?  Is this not a cause worth dying for?  Lord, here am I.  Send me.

Rest

Absolutely nothing is happening on the home front.  I’ve raised very little money of the necessary budget.   The car has not sold and I’m still stuck in an apartment lease, among other things.  You know, I’m not stressed at all about it.  It will all happen according to God’s timing and plan.  Last time, I had several emotional meltdowns as I stressed over the preparations and finances.  I laugh now because the last time it was a 3 week trip and cost $3,000.  I am now facing a 6-8 month trip that costs $13,000.  Is it the impossibility of the task that gives me peace?  Is it my knowing only God and God alone can do this?

Three weeks ago, I wrote down on a piece of paper everything that needed to happen prior to my leaving for India.  I then placed the paper on the altar at church and left it there, literally.  I vowed not to pray another prayer over those needs.  I promised God I would praise Him and trust Him to supply the needs…all of them.  It was not resignation, not an attitude of “Well, there’s nothing I can do about it anyway.”  It was a deliberate and complete act of placing my trust in Him and His timing.

There is a powerful principle in the Bible that few of His people practice.  It is the principle of Rest.  Rest is not the same as relaxation.  Resting in Him involves prayer and the Word.  It involves praise, worship and adoration of Him.  Rest = Lean.

The people rested (leaned) upon Hezekiah’s words that the Lord would fight their battles.  2 Chronicles 32:8

Who is this that cometh up from the wilderness leaning (resting) upon her beloved?  Song of Solomon 8:5

Man feels the need to be doing, but the Battle has already been won by Jesus Christ.  He conquered, overcame all the enemies, including death, hell and the grave.  Do we really believe it?  Hebrews chapter 4 says we must labor to enter into that rest lest we fall into unbelief.  Many times we view scriptures in the Bible as being futuristic only.  Hebrews chapter 4 refers to the Heavenly Rest we will receive once we pass from this earth.  However, it is for us today because this chapter deals with the rest we have in the Holy Ghost.  We must learn to cease from works and rest in Him. 

Satan’s goal according to Daniel 7:25 is to wear out the saints of the most High.  He wants us to exhaust ourselves by constantly doing something.  We easily get caught up in what’s going on around us…we get pressed, oppressed, weary, tired, etc.  Sometimes we are busy with the work of God, exhausting ourselves and justifying our actions because it is for His cause.  Either way, we become restless.  Restlessness (unrest) is an end time spirit to wear us out, so that physically and mentally we won't be able to function to carry out our Lord's plan.

God’s goal is for His people to rest in Him, thereby enabling Him to be glorified and advancing His Kingdom.  The true dying out to self and for the cause is to lay aside our flesh for a time of rest.  Rest is not being lazy or unproductive.  Resting in Him is a deliberate act of placing our trust and confidence in Him.  Let us be diligent to labor to enter that rest. 

As I endeavor to apply the principle of rest to my life, I asked God to show me how powerful this principle really is.  I have not made any other attempts at fundraising since I sent out the letters to my friends.  Those who know me well know this is highly unusual for me.  By now, I would have exhausted every resource known to mankind in fundraising attempts.  Not this time.  This time I choose to rest and watch God work it out, so that He may be glorified.

Recently, God gave me a small glimpse of what He can do when I rest in Him.  I received an invitation to speak at a large missions-minded church in Louisiana.  I was completely shocked because even though my friend goes there, in all of my visits to Louisiana it never worked out for me to attend church with her.  So it was definitely a “God-thing” to receive the invitation.  I am in AWE of my God!

AIM Application Approved

I called today to check on my AIM application.  It's been approved for me to go to India, Nepal and Bangladesh.  It's just a matter of the ministers actually signing off on the application, then they will send me the packet of information.  WOW!!!  The lady I spoke to told me that I can choose to visit all 3 countries or just visit one.  She told me Bro. & Sis. Corbin were very excited about my possibly coming to Bangladesh.  That being said, I plan to go to India and Bangladesh but not Nepal.  Lord willing, I will spend 4 months in New Delhi and 2-4 weeks in Varanasi, both located in India.  Then, since I will have to leave the country of India at that point, I will spend time with the Corbins in Bangladesh.  I have not received a time frame for Bangladesh yet...it will be included in my packet.

The next step is fundraising.  As soon as I raise the necessary funds, I am free to go.  My desire is to go in November 2011, but I am willing to wait on His perfect timing.

WOW!!  This is really happening!!!  :-))

Another Step of Faith

Today I took another step of faith in the journey. I mailed my application for the Associates in Missions (AIM) program. AIM is a short-term missions program through the United Pentecostal Church International in which a person can go to a foreign nation and assist a missionary in a variety of ways for 2-12 months. I applied to return to New Delhi, India in November 2011 to assist with Scism Christian University for 4-6 months.

November is five months away. Once the application is approved, which can take up to 2-3 months, there are several things that need to be accomplished prior to leaving. I need to apply for a new visa, be debt-free, have my airline ticket in hand (I'm still paying on the last one), have half of my living expenses up front with the other half committed through pledges, etc. All of my human logic and reasoning says this cannot be accomplished in five months, but with God all things are possible. November 2012 would be a more realistic schedule. I did not want to put any limitations on God, so if it all comes together in five months, so be it. If not, and I have to wait another year, I am okay with it. I will leave the timing up to Him.  I truly feel at peace about this decision. 

Looking at the bright side, my passport is still good and I don't have to get a zillion shots!!

Blessings

Blessings...what do we think of when we hear this word?  Nice house, family, friends, clothes, food, a job, a car, good health?  What about sickness, pain, rejection, loss of job, or death?  Do these words invoke thoughts of blessings in our minds?  If not, they should.  All of these -- nice house, sickness, etc. -- are blessings from God, whether or not we realize it or can truly appreciate it.

Whenever we experience heartache, pain, or sickness, our first and strongest reaction to God is usually a cry for deliverance.  We want out of this trial/test/storm and we want out NOW!!  Yesterday would have been really good!  Have you ever noticed that it's during the dark times that God reveals Himself to us in ways we wouldn't have otherwise experienced?  He reveals His Mercy, His Grace, and His Love to us in greater measure during these times.  It's because we are more dependent upon Him during the times of storms unlike other times, whether or not we acknowledge that dependency.

For the past ten days, I have endured excruciating pain from a kidney stone.  (I realize there are people who have endured far greater physical pain for a longer period of time than I have.  My pain doesn't even minutely compare to theirs.)  But this is my trial and my blog, so allow me to share some of the things I've learned about God during this time. 

Last Saturday morning, after taking a strong pain killer at 3:00 AM that put me into a deep sleep, I awoke to the sweet overwhelming Presence of the Lord at 5:30 AM.  I loved it that He woke me up to commune with Him.  You see, 5:30 AM is our usual prayer time.  It was also a powerful reminder that there is no place His Presence is not there, not even a drug-induced sleep.  Psalm 139:7-11: "7 Whither shall I go from thy spirit? or whither shall I flee from thy presence? 8 If I ascend up into heaven, thou art there: if I make my bed in hell, behold, thou art there. 9 If I take the wings of the morning, and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea; 10 Even there shall thy hand lead me, and thy right hand shall hold me. 11 If I say, Surely the darkness shall cover me; even the night shall be light about me."

Two days ago, while driving, the pain hit me violently and unexpectedly.  It was the worst wave of excruciating pain thus far and I did not have access to my medication.  I began to fervently pray and cry out to God for relief.  Immediately His Presence filled the car and I felt His Love surround me unlike any other time I have ever felt Him.  Did the pain cease?  No.  But, in that moment, I knew I could endure anything in life as long as His Presence was with me.  Hebrews 13:5 says, "Let your conversation be without covetousness; and be content with such things as ye have : for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee."

This song by Laura Story entitled "Blessings" gives us a different perspective on the word.  May you be blessed as you listen.

Note:  After an unplanned surgery and an overnight hospital stay, the kidney stone was removed and I feel great!  This little test was just another part of the process to prepare me for my return to India.  Yes, you read it right, I am returning to India. :-)

Maintaining His Presence

Since I'm stuck at home with painful kidney stones, I've been able to do some long overdue reading.  I just finished a book entitled, "I Dared to Call Him Father" by Bilquis Sheikh.  Written in 1978, it's a true story of a high-society Pakistani Muslim woman's encounter with God.  It was a rather interesting read that kept me turning the pages, anxious to know the final outcome.

Becoming a Christian in a resolutely fundamental Muslim country can make life very precarious to say the least. The ostracising from family and talk in the village of “something having to be done” about this woman who had become an “infidel” were not easy to bear. God protected her from danger on many occasions.

The most profound part of the book for me was her simple approach in living for God.  She based all of her thoughts, decisions and actions upon the continuance of His Presence.  As long as she felt His Presence, she had peace and comfort.  Whenever she began to either fear or put her trust in the ‘arm of the flesh’, His Presence departed. If she repented of these things and simply trusted and obeyed God's guidance, she sensed His presence and protection once again. Once, when she was concerned about not seeing the results of her witnessing, the Lord told her, "The results are not your problem.  All you have to worry about is obedience.  Seek My Presence, not results."  Maintaining the knowledge and sense of His presence was everything to her. 

Lord, may I always be aware of Your Presence.  Help me to quickly seek Your Presence whenever I sense Your departure.  I want to live in Your Presence every moment of every day of my life.  Amen.

I Give Myself Away

I Give Myself Away
"I Give Myself Away" was the theme of today's presentation on India at the First Pentecostal Church in Amite, Louisiana.  All God wants is availability not ability.  We are never too old or too young to be used of God.  We are never under-talented or over-talented to be used of God.  The pastor of the church, Rev. Paul Dickson, is a long-time friend and a personal inspiration to me.  God called him to preach at age 48....the same age God called me to missions in India.

I started the presentation by telling the church a little about myself and how the trip to India came about.  After giving a few facts about India, I told the personal stories of four people I met while in India and how God was using them right now for His Kingdom.  Some of them faced impossible situations with nothing to offer God, not even their lives due to HIV/AIDS, but they offered themselves to God who raised them up and today, they are being mightily used by Him.  Their stories, along with many others, can be found in earlier posts on this blog: Ajinbou Orissa Nanny Siama

I ended the presentation with a slide show and song entitled, "I Give Myself Away."  You could definitely feel the presence of God in the room.  Only the Lord knows the hearts that were touched and the lives impacted from today's presentation.

India Tidbits

India Tidbits
7th largest country geographically
2nd largest population
Largest democracy
10th largest economy
3rd largest standing army

NOT a third world country
     Rising superpower country
     Some areas advanced, others very poor
Very diverse country
     Different language, culture, food, etc. in each state

No national language (300+ languages)
     Hindi and English most spoken
Religion:
     80% Hinduism
     13% Muslim
       5% Other
       2% Christian

Varanasi

I met one incredible, unassuming young man of God while working at the Bible college in Delhi. When Ajinbou Chatmai graduated from Scism Christian University five years ago, he went to the city of Varanasi in the Indian state of Utter Pradesh. There he started six new Apostolic churches. Varanasi, located on the River Ganges, is the holiest place in the world in Hinduism (and center of the earth in Hindu cosmology). Just think, in the most holy Hindu city in the world, people are finding the Holy One of Israel, the One True God whose name is Jesus. Here are some pictures of Varanasi and the work God is doing there through Ajinbou.

P. S. On March 27th, Ajinbou Chatmai and Pradipa Patricia Ghatani (also a pastor) got married. Congratulations to the lovely couple!

Freedom of Religion

Today our church had a street service near downtown Bessemer. We sang a few songs and Bro. Bertram preached a short message. We had an altar call and one man came forward to pray. You could deinitely feel God's presence there.

I am thankful to live in a country where there is freedom of religion. The message of Jesus Christ is illegal in many countries, including parts of India. The persecution against Christians in India mainly occurs in the state of Orissa. While in India, I watched a short video of Christians being killed in Orissa. It was not a hollywood version either. It was raw filming by a journalist who secretly recorded the killings and somehow managed to get the video past the authorities without getting killed. Also, I met one of the Bible students, Samir, who pastors a church in Orissa.  Another young man, Subrat, is praying and fasting for many people to be won as a result of a Bible study entitled Baptism which has now been printed in Oriya language of India and soon to be distributed in Orissa. These young men face death on a daily basis.

Oh, about that video I watched in India?  I found it on YouTube.  Viewer discretion is strongly advised.  Prayer on behalf of the Christians in India is highly recommended.

Direction from God

I received clear direction from God regarding Happiness Home in Manipur, India.  I was already sensing this, but now that I've heard from God, it's settled.  It is NOT His will for me to go to Happiness Home to work, live, etc.  He reminded me of a vision He gave me in 2007.  In that vision He showed me that a friend would be on the mission field and I would be one of her main supporters.  When He gave me the vision in 2007, my prayer life was nothing, my finances were nothing.  He has strengthened both areas since then.  Having experienced the foreign field, if only for a short time, I will know how to pray effectively for and financially support someone else.  I can truly share their compassion and burden.

As for the Bible college or another part of India, I still don't have direction.  That's OK.  God will make it all clear to me in His timing.

Humility and Submission

I took my friend's words very seriously because God was already telling me the same thing.  I awoke at 3:30 this morning and went into the living room to pray.  I repented over my wrong attitudes and asked God to forgive me. I then laid hands on myself and asked God to give me a humble, loving attitude for His Kingdom no matter where I am placed and to have a servant attitude no matter who my leader is.  I asked Him to help me to focus on and work the field I am in right now with passion and joy.

"Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus: Who, being in the form of God, thought it not robbery to be equal with God: But made himself of no reputation , and took upon him the form of a servant, and was made in the likeness of men: And being found in fashion as a man, he humbled himself, and became obedient unto death, even the death of the cross."  Philippians 2:5-8

"Likewise, ye younger, submit yourselves unto the elder. Yea, all of you be subject one to another, and be clothed with humility: for God resisteth the proud, and giveth grace to the humble."  I Peter 5:5

Today I had a meeting today with my pastor's wife, our first since my return from India.  I shared with her my desire to return to India.  She paid me a high compliment...one I was not expecting. She told me, "If anyone else were to come to me and say they were called to the mission field, I would doubt their calling because they have not proved themselves in this local church.  But you?  You have proved yourself.  You teach Bible studies, you do outreach, etc. I will pray with you for God's direction regarding India."  Wow!  I promised her I would remain committed to this church and to their ministry even while my heart was being called to India.  I promised her I would continue to serve them wholeheartedly and with joy because this is where God has me right now.

A few minutes after my meeting, my pastor approached me and told me he wanted me to tell the church about my trip to India. He and I talked about my desire to return to India. He promised to pray with me for direction. Both conversations were confirmation from God telling me an attitude of humility and submission is everything. Thank you Lord for the leadership you have given me.  Thank you Jesus for your mercy towards me!

Truth in Love

I have a dear friend who tells me the truth in love.  God has used her many times to reveal a hidden flaw in my character.  Today was one of those days. 

My church as a whole has treated the trip to India as a vacation.  They have not understood my calling, my burden at all.  Although I don't understand, I have chosen not to allow it to cause an offense.  My dear friend's words revealed my own flaws in the situation:

"I realize your leaders may not share your burden and may not be as supportive as you wish.  But remember, it's NOT about them backing your vision or passion - it's about your faith in God's authority.  Wholeheartedly serve your church. If you cannot have a love for souls in your own community, then saying you have a burden for a foreign land will not be taken seriously by anyone! The FRUIT of the spirit is far more important right now.  God is looking at your attitude and submission. When you look past their lack of support and you serve them with all your heart - then you WILL receive clear direction and hear from God.  He will open the right doors and bless you financially to go carry out your burden for India.  God will not forget you!"

Her beautiful words of wisdom were exactly what I needed to hear.  Even though my church does not share my burden, it does not diminish the fact God has given it to me.  I trust my leadership.  To be honest, even though I serve my leadership and I do things to support them, my heart is not one of submission to them. This is not pleasing to God.  I will pray for a spirit and attitude of total submission and love for my pastor and his wife.

God has given ME the burden for India.  Not my pastor, not my church...but ME.  I have been wrong to expect others to share my heartbeat.  And just because God has given me this particular burden and allowed me to experience another culture does not make me better than them.  He's leading me on a different path than theirs, not a better one, just a different one.  Lord, I need humility in addition to submission and love.

Some Days

Some days the desire and longing for India is worst than others. Today is one of those days. I received new pictures of the children this morning. One boy was very sick when I left there (he was new at Happiness Home, having just been released from the hospital).  I cried when I saw his picture today...he looked so healthy and strong! :-)

Days like today I am ready to quit my job, pack my bags and move there forever. I can't move there forever anyway...India only allows a person to stay 5 months at a time. I am not feeling stressed, just so torn. My body is here but my heart is there. What to do?!?

I need direction...clear definite direction from God.

Miss Bubbly Little Personality

So I get home from India and start sorting through my pictures when this spunky little girl full of life and laughter shows up. How did I miss this bubbly little personality while there?!?!  She made me laugh today! :-)

A "God" Thing

This is such a "God" thing, I just wanted to share it with you.  Bro. Stanley Scism, missionary to India, posted on his facebook page about the 2010-2011 Bible college students.  There was one young lady named Rose whose story inspired me.  One of the former college students witnessed to her and suggested she attend the college.  So she applied.  Even though she did not have the Holy Ghost nor was she baptized in Jesus Name, the college accepted her application.  Her first day of school, she received the Holy Ghost and was baptized.  She was a brilliant student, absorbing everything she could.  Without telling anyone, I decided to take her on in prayer.  I was hoping to meet her when I visited India, but it did not happen.

Upon my return from India, I learned I will be getting $500 unexpectedly.  I could have applied this towards my airline ticket, but felt strongly impressed by God to use it to support a Bible college student for next year.  (If I take care of His Business, He will take care of mine).  I had Rose on my mind but when I emailed Bro. Scism, I mentioned no names and asked him who had the greatest need.  When he told me Rose needed it most, I was thrilled and KNEW it was a God thing!!  She was feeling discouraged because she wanted to return to Bible college next year but could not afford to do so.  God answered her prayers!!  I am so glad to be a part of it!

Rose shows a lot of potential.  Since returning home from college last month, she has already started her first church.  This is a new babe in Christ who's only had the Holy Ghost 5 months!!  Inspiring to say the least!

Alabama Ladies Conference

I just returned from the Alabama Ladies Conference.  The speakers were Cheryl Riddick, missionary to Cameroon, Africa and Vonnie Lopez, pastor's wife in Louisiana.  God used them to minister to me emotionally and spiritually.

Cheryl Riddick spoke about her experience upon arrival to the mission field twenty five years ago.  She felt a burden for the lost souls of Cameroon as well as a burden for her lost family members back home in the United States.  She felt so torn between the two burdens.  She went to God in prayer and asked, "What do I do?  I can't be in both places at once."  He told her, "You take care of My Business in Cameroon and I'll take care of yours in the United States."  She took Him at His Word and began to focus on the souls in Cameroon while continuing to pray for the souls in the United States. Over the course of time, her entire family was saved.  I cried because someone understood and put words to how I feel right now: torn.  My heart is in two places: India and Birmingham.  I am here in Birmingham, but feel a strong calling to India.  For now, it's okay for my heart to be in two places.  God will unite my heart in His timing.

Vonnie Lopez talked about claiming our mountains like Caleb did in Joshua 14:6-14.  The mountain was promised to Caleb earlier by Moses.  Forty years later, as Joshua was passing out the inheritance to the children of Israel, Caleb laid claim on his promise.  It was not a "name it and claim it" deal.  Caleb did not expect God to hand it to him on a silver platter.  All Caleb wanted was permission from Joshua to fight the giants in the mountain to make it his own.  He had maintained his strength and fighting power for forty years in preparation to take the mountain promised to him.

As we all prayed and asked God to give us our personal mountains, I asked to be debt-free.  I am willing to do whatever I have to do to become debt-free but I cannot do it without His Help.  I am tired of being the tail and not the head as God promised (see Deuteronomy 28:13).  I want to be the lender and not the borrower (see Deuteronomy 15:6).  I want to use my money to benefit the Kingdom of God. 

Vonnie was a dynamic and uplifting speaker, but what struck me most was her involvement with an organization called Jordan International Aid (JIA).  In-between sessions, I looked it up on the internet and it's an all-volunteer organization ran by Apostolics who carry out various humanitarian projects all over the world, including India.  This opened up a possibility I had not considered before.  I could continue to live and work in Birmingham, and if I were involved with JIA, I could take 1-3 missions trips per year to help in other countries.  This would allow me to work both fields.

Another thing that excited me about JIA was its potential to help Happiness Home.  You see, I'd been praying and asking God to lead me to the right organization.  Not just any organization would do because I did not want to jeopardize the delicate nature of Happiness Home's ministry.  One wrong move and all those precious people could be sent back to Burma where they could die without access to medication.  I felt JIA was the right organization so I contacted them via email to find out more.

All in all, it was a good conference.  God used it to give me peace, encouragement and direction.

Adjusting

I've been back in the USA a week now and I'm still trying to adjust, emotionally, spiritually and physically.  I got sick those last few days in Manipur with a bad case of traveler's diarrhea and vomiting.  On Thursday, I was so dehydrated, they were threatening to take me to the local clinic to get an IV.  I told them, "No Way!  Fly me home!"  But I was too sick to get on a plane.  I needed to get well enough by Saturday to travel home.  People were praying for me.  Thursday night, I awoke from my sleep as I felt the Presence of the Lord enter the hotel room.  A peace came over my body.  I literally felt my body calm down.  The stomach cramps, diarrhea, and vomiting stopped.  I became well enough to travel home, but once I got back to the USA, things flared up again.  So, I've been on medication trying to get well.

I went to church this morning for the first time since returning from India.  It's not the same.  The people are more concerned about trivial stuff like their personal appearance and social status than they are about souls or missions  It's so superficial.  Don't they realize the urgency of it all?!  This is life or death!  It's not a playground.  It's a battleground.  Souls are at stake for eternity!  Come on, everyone, WAKE UP!!

I no longer think like they do.  I don't belong here anymore.  Not in this church.  Not in America.  I belong in India.  But I'm not Indian.  I'm American.  I am struggling to find my place in life.  What is my purpose?  Where do I fit in now?  I can't just keep wandering aimlessly in life.  My life must count for something in the Kingdom of God.

Geesh!  I'm even having a hard time adjusting to the order and quietness.  (That's hard to believe because I LOVE quietness!)  I actually miss the chaos and noise of India.  Maybe I should buy me one of those crazy horns for my car?!  lol  :-)

Is There a Cure?

I conducted 30 interviews this past week at Happiness Home.  It was interesting to hear their stories.  I was so encouraged by their strength and their faith in God.  Sometimes it felt like I was interviewing people fresh off the pages of Hebrews chapter 11, which is known as "Faith's Hall of Fame" in the Bible.  The purpose of the interviews is to tell the people's stories through some kind of media: website, handout, book, etc.  The final plan has not yet been formulated as to the best way to tell their stories.

During each interview I asked the person if there was anything he or she wanted to ask me or share with me.  There were the cute questions from the children like, "Do you have buses in America?" or "Is there snow where you live?"  There was one question repeatedly asked by the adults, "Is there a cure for AIDS?"  One guy expounded upon the question which gave me insight to their inquiries.  He told me, "In Burma, we did not know about medication for this disease.  We hear about medication in India, so we come here, get medication and now we feel better.  What if there is a cure in America or some other country and we don't know about it?"  A young pregnant woman was concerned about her unborn child.  She asked me how to prevent her child from getting the disease.  I tried to answer their questions with the limited knowledge I had about HIV/AIDS.  I felt so helpless and uneducated.   

For the people of Happiness Home, it's hard to stay up-to-date with the rapidly changing medical field when the main source of information is via internet.  Bro Rama or Jacob will sometimes bring their laptop computer to share information with them.  There is the additional challenge of keeping it charged since electricity only runs a few hours daily.  Perhaps I can inquire about HIV/AIDS education information and/or curriculum and send it to them. They have every right to be informed. 

I Can't Believe It's Over

Well, it's hard to believe the trip to India is over and I'm back home in the USA.  We left Happiness Home yesterday (actually the day before if you include the 12 hour time difference) admist tears and sad good-byes.  They had a little service for us before we left; we all sang worship songs.  Different people spoke thanking us for our time and love we have shown them.  Then, as we were leaving, they all lined up and each one shook our hands as we walked to the vehicle.  By the time I reached the end of the line and climbed into the vehicle, I was so overcome with emotion and tears, I had no voice.  I couldn't even tell Bro. Rama goodbye...I simply cried and tried to smile.  He gave me a kind look of understanding.

The trip home was a long one.  I lost it emotionally a few times thinking about it all.  My life will never be the same.  Only the Lord knows what the future holds and what role this journey to India will play in it.

Please enjoy the slideshow of the many faces of Happiness Home.

Warning!!

WARNING!!!!  The two photos you are about to view are very graphic. 

The photos you have seen so far have been of happy people with seemingly healthy bodies, even though they are infected with HIV/AIDS.  Their health and happiness came after receiving medical treatment and spiritual nourishment.  The harsh reality is many people are barely alive when they arrive at Happiness Home, as these two photos depict.  Some regain strength and health and go on to live normal lives.  Others die.

No matter their outcome, Happiness Home offers people with HIV/AIDS hope that they would not otherwise have. It DOES make a difference!

Identity Crisis

Nu Lali is in the midst of one huge identity crisis at age 52.  In less than one year’s time, she has suffered the loss of her husband who died of AIDS, the loss of their 16 year ministry as missionaries in Burma, separation from her country and her family, all while fighting her own health battle with HIV/AIDS.

Nu Lali and her husband were missionaries in Burma converting Buddhists to Christianity when they contracted HIV/AIDS through improper needle injections while ministering to the health needs of the people.  Her husband became sick first but refused to come to India to receive medication.  He felt God had given him the disease and that it was God’s will for him to die.

When Nu Lali first became sick, she knew she had TB and Typhoid.  She went to the hospital in Burma where they confirmed her self-diagnosis.  When the doctors tested her blood, they discovered she was HIV+.  When they informed her, she felt like her life was over.  She did not want to live.  The feeling did not last long because soon afterwards she came to India seeking medication.  She was receiving medical treatment at a local hospital in India when someone told her about Happiness Home.  She travels frequently between Burma and India.  She has been at Happiness Home for two months on her recent stay.

She does not feel homesick at Happiness Home. She likes it and thinks of it as an extended family.  Speaking of family, she has one son and two daughters in Burma.  Another daughter lives in the United States.  Nu Lali has at least two grandchildren, both boys.

Nu Lali views it a good thing to rely on God no matter the circumstances.  She says, “If I die, it is for His glory.  If I live, it is for His glory.”  In losing her own identity, Nu Lali has become identified with Jesus Christ.

"Yea doubtless, and I count all things but loss for the excellency of the knowledge of Christ Jesus my Lord: for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and do count them but dung, that I may win Christ." Philippians 3: 8

Nu Lali



Me, Lori, Nu Lali



The Weaver

Aungsan

Aungsan is a weaver who serves the Master Weaver.  He believes that HIV/AIDS was weaved into his life by God for a purpose.  He believes God wants to teach him something in his life is the reason he has been given this sickness.  Before he became sick, he did not understand people with HIV/AIDS.  Now he understands them.  Aungsan simply trusts the Master’s Hand as He weaves and intertwines the threads of his life. 

Aungsan, age 48, says it is hard to come to India from Burma.  But by God’s grace he, along with his wife and two children, were able to come here.  When they arrived, he was so sick he thought he was going to pass away.  Now he is healthy with medication.

The family arrived at Happiness Home with no money.  People would give him money, but he thought if they continue to do that he will not want to get a job.  He worked as missionary in Burma before he tested positive.  At Happiness Home, he was trained to operate the weaving machine.  He credits God with giving him this new talent.  He says that money comes and goes but this talent will stay with him.  Even if they return to Burma, he can weave there.  By God’s grace, they are able to work and eat.  They are not dependent upon anyone.

Aungsan feels like Happiness Home is heaven on earth for him.  His children are in school.  He is able to work with weaving.  He feels blessed of God.  He wants to praise God more and more.  He says God’s will is not always understood, but always has a purpose.  Sometimes he wants to preach instead of weave.  Doesn’t he realize the weaving of his life by God is a sermon?

"He hath made every thing beautiful in his time: also he hath set the world in their heart, so that no man can find out the work that God maketh from teh beginning to the end."  Ecclesiastes 3:11



Aungsan, the weaver.



Aungsan hard at work.

Aungsan and his family.

A Simple Life

The people of Happiness Home live a simple life.  They do not have the luxuries that we take for granted as Americans.  They have electricity on average 4 hours daily, which occurs on an erratic schedule.  They do not have stoves, refrigerators, let alone microwaves.  They do not have running water.  Water is pumped in from a nearby reservoir a few times each week.  They do not have much furniture, mainly beds and a few chairs.  They squat to eat, so there is no need for dining room furniture. The few clothes they own--which are washed by hand and hung out to dry--are either folded and placed at the foot of the bed or hung on a nail on the wall.

Even though they live a simple life, one of the things I noticed about the people of Happiness Home, including the littlest ones, was the camaraderie they shared.  They faithfully lived out Romans 12:10, "Be kindly affectioned one to another with brotherly love; in honour preferring one another."  The adults worked together in harmony doing various tasks; they took care of each other's children as if they were their own.  If a child had two pieces of candy, he or she would always share one piece, sometimes both.  When playing the Carom board game, they would often help each other make the best shot, even their opponents.

There were no displays of selfishness or quarreling in this group of people.  I couldn't tell if this was how the Burmese culture normally operated.  Culture or not, these are all strangers from various backgrounds living together under "one roof."  Unfortunately, one common thread binds them together: HIV/AIDS.  As I post their stories in the days ahead, you will see how HIV/AIDS has affected their lives.  But, for now, enjoy the pictures of their "togetherness."


It's Water Day!!

The women preparing greens for dinner.

The young men cutting up meat for dinner.

Little Albert doing his part by cutting up a balloon.

The children playing the Carom board game.

Teaching me how to play.  I brought them lots of laughter with my crazy shots!

Helping each other or fighting?!

They Dug Her Grave

They dug her grave.  That’s how sick Suite Nu was when she arrived at Happiness Home.  She was so weak in body she could not turn over in the bed, but with strength of mind, she could still pray.  She told God, “If I am going to die, just let me die and not suffer.  But if I am going to live, show me some way that I can be of some good in life.”

Suite Nu contracted HIV/AIDS from her husband who died in 2008 from the disease because there was no medication available in Burma where they lived.  When Suite Nu became sick, her pastor and his wife told her about Happiness Home in Manipur, India and took her there, where she was able to obtain medical attention from a nearby hospital and clinic.  She left behind in Burma two adult sons, both healthy.

Suite Nu, age 51, refers to herself as an uneducated woman.  She does not read nor write and she only speaks one language.  She does not drive.  Don’t let her self-indictment fool you.  She was a very active member of her church in Burma and was the leader of the women’s organization there.

As she lay on the hospital bed too weak to do anything other than pray, God told her she would live.  Not only did she live, she assumed a new role in life as she became the “nanny” to the orphan children at Happiness Home.  She cooks for them, washes their clothes and cares for them when they are sick.  She comforts them and loves them as only a mother can do.  She laughed as she described her daily duty of mending the children’s clothes, “They play hard and I stitch.  They play hard again and I stitch again.”  She enjoys every minute of it because as she states, “I am glad to be used of God in His Kingdom in this way.  This is the reason I am alive.”



Suite Nu



Suite Nu feeding one of the children.



Happiness Home Orphans

Currently, there are nine orphans at Happiness Home.  Most of these children are truly orphaned, but the word "orphan" in this case also means they do not have a mother or father at Happiness Home.  They are taken care of by a dear lady they call "Nanny".  All of the children in the home are special, but I only interviewed the orphans.  One thing stood out to me as I interviewed them.  Knowing some of their stories beforehand, I fully expected to see signs of trauma.  I was pleasantly surprised instead to see emotional healing and spiritual peace.  Many of these children, without any prompting from me, made reference to specific times of prayer when God touched them and "made them better."  Here are their brief, yet inspiring, stories.

Tluangtea, age 9, wants to be a bus driver when he grows up. In Burma, he saw only bicycles and rickshaws. After moving to India, he saw cars, trucks, buses and other vehicles. He has been at Happiness Home for 4 years. His mother and father died from HIV/AIDS in Burma. His grandmother brought him to India because he was not well. Even though he is feeling better, he still has to take medicine. He has four older brothers and one older sister in Burma, all of them healthy.

Bawla, age 9, has been at Happiness Home for 1 year.  Both of his parents are infected; they live in Burma. He has one healthy brother in Burma.  He has lots of friends at the home, but not a best friend.  He loves school and wants to be a doctor when he grows up.

Buatsaiha, age 9, was dropped off at Happiness Home about a month ago.  His mother, father, grandmother and grandfather have all died from AIDS.  It is uncertain at this time whether or not he has HIV.  He speaks two languages.  He likes to eat, especially meat.  He likes to play all kinds of games.


Kimboi, age 13, and Nemtong, age 12, are sisters.  They have been at Happiness Home since 2007.  Kimboi has HIV while Nemtong is healthy. They watched both parents die of AIDS.  For a while, Nemtong worked cleaning houses to earn money for the family since she was the only one healthy.  Both girls like school.  Kimboi wants to be a doctor.  Nemtong wants to be a teacher and travel all over the world helping others.

Chawia, age 13, has HIV and has been at Happiness Home for one year.  His father died of AIDS.  His mother still lives in Burma.  She brought him to India so he could receive medication and an education.  She visits him about every two months.  He also has one older sister and one older brother in Burma.  He likes school and desires to be a bright student.  He likes the special meals that are served at Happiness Home on Sundays.

 Vanlalsiama, age 13, wants to be a missionary when he grows up.  His dream is to someday go to another country although he doesn't know which one yet.  He likes to pray.  He prays every morning and every evening.  After his mother and father died of AIDS, he met his grandmother for the first time.  She brought him to Happiness Home about one year ago because he has HIV.  His grandparents went to a church that did not baptize.  He wanted to be baptized in water.  He was baptized in Jesus' Name when he arrived at Happiness Home.

Pumkhankhual, age 14, arrived at Happiness Home today.  Just released from a 10 day stay at a local hospital, he is still weak from HIV.  His mother, father and grandfather have all died from AIDS.  His grandmother is in Burma.He loves music and can play the piano and keyboard when he has strength.  (3-24-11 NOTE: This is a recent photo.  He is looking healthier and stronger!)




Khual Pi, age 15, dreams of one day of being healthy, going back to Burma and constructing his own home. His mother and father died of AIDS. He has one older sister who attends a Bible college. Although he likes school, he is not very studious. He prefers working with his hands.  When he first arrived at Happiness Home 4 years ago, he was so weak he could not lift anything.  Now he can carry big buckets of water.