Enjoy the Journey

I applied for my passport today!  WHOO HOO!!  This trip is going to happen!!  I am so EXCITED!! 

Earlier, I didn't feel excitement and hope.  When God first placed this desire in my heart to go to India, I was filled with fear and doubt.  Especially regarding the finances.  I knew there was absolutely NO WAY I could make this trip happen on my own.  There was not enough baby-sitting, dog-sitting, or part time jobs to come up with that kind of money in such a short period of time.  I would have to TOTALLY depend upon God for the finances.  Being very strong-willed and self-reliant, this thought of dependency left me feeling very vulnerable....a feeling I did not cherish.

I learned a secret a long time ago regarding my relationship with God.  He's more willing to help me if I am honest and transparent with Him.  So I prayed, "Lord, I am afraid.  I am afraid You won't provide the necessary funds for this trip and I'll end up looking like a fool.  Many times in my childhood, my basic needs were not met.  I don't want to believe my past, all those years of unmet needs.  I want to live in the present, believing that You will not only provide my needs but that You desire to do so with delight and abundance.  I want to trust You and believe You so help my unbelief."  I made a conscious choice to trust Him.

After that prayer, I recalled to mind a story by Corrie Ten Boom in her book, The Hiding Place.  Corrie was upset thinking about her father dying someday. As was his habit, he sat down at the edge of her bed to tuck her in.  “Corrie,” he began gently, “when you and I go to Amsterdam – when do I give you your ticket?”  Corrie sniffed a few times, considering this.  “Why, just before we get on the train.” Her father replied, “Exactly. And our wise Father in heaven knows when we’re going to need things, too. Don’t run out ahead of Him. When the time comes…you will look into your heart and find the strength you need – just in time.”

My God will provide what I need when I need it, not a moment sooner--not only for the trip to India but for all of my life.  I will let Him provide the ticket while I enjoy the journey.

The Beginning

The journey began on September 19, 2010 when I saw these pictures for the first time.  I was instantly captivated by these people!  I wept and I still weep today.  Not out of pity, but out of love, an overwhelming LOVE of God.  I feel HIS compassion and love for these people.  It's in the lives of these people that I see the greatness and vastness of God's love to humanity.  He loves them so much yet they have nothing to offer Him.  What did I have to offer Him?  Nothing.  Not a thing more than these people.  All I had to offer Him was a broken and sin-filled life.  Yet He made something beautiful of my life.

Some of these people have AIDS/HIV.  They are the orphans and outcasts of India.  They were unwanted, unloved, homeless and hopeless.  But, someone cared enough to offer them a home and some food, demonstrating God's love towards them.  Now they are happy.  Why?  Because they have been filled with the Holy Ghost.  The love of God that was demonstrated to them now abides inside of them. 

It's not about material goods.  It's not about health.  It's not even about family.  We only have ONE need in this life and that one need is Jesus Christ.  My mind and my spirit did a paradigm shift that day.  I could no longer think or feel the way I used to.  The desires I once had now seemed selfish and frivolous.  Suddenly, nothing else mattered except seeing people baptized in Jesus Name and filled with the Holy Ghost.

After seeing these pictures, I felt like I no longer belonged in America but in India.  So, after much prayer and seeking Godly counsel from my pastor and other trusted sources, it was decided that I would go to India for three weeks in February 2011.  We will see where God leads me from there.  It will indeed take a miracle for this trip to happen.  You see, I have no passport, no luggage, and no money.  But as a dear friend said, "His will...His bills."

I say the journey began that day.  Looking back over my life, I can see preparations for this journey were made in previous journeys.  I will share those preparations, along with the current journey, on this blog.  You are welcome to follow along.